Forget “manifest” or “growth.” My word for 2020 is “Meghan Markle.” _ No more suffering and enduring in spaces filled with negative energy and people who do not respect or support me. Instead, I will be Meghan Markling to spaces where I’m wanted, respected, and celebrated.
***Merriam Webster needs to hurry up and add “Meghan Markle” to the dictionary.
Sometimes you gotta let people go: fake friends, toxic folks, energy-sucks, drama-full family members, fuck boys, former loves, friends with (few) benefits.
Sometimes you gotta let things go: phone numbers of former love interests, clothes that haven't fit in 3+ years, overstretched hair elastics, broken electronics, worn out shoes, not safe for work or grandma's eyes sexy pictures of your former bae.
Sometimes you gotta let energies go: long-held hurts, emotional scars, old ideas, grudges, bad habits, doubts, insecurities, drama.
As much as I have grown personally and professionally this past year of my life, I have realized that I still have a lot of things that I need to figure out. One of the things I need to figure out in 2017 is how to let go of people who cause me nothing but unnecessary stress and heartache and whose presence in my life do not benefit me or give me the love and appreciation I want and need.
But I have a hard time letting go of the select people that I let into my heart. I am very protective of my heart and my personal space, so when I let people in, I hold onto them fiercely. I love hard. Even when these people I love show me how easily they have let me go, I hold on. I continue to care. I check in. I wish happy birthdays. I extend congratulations and well wishes. And, I rarely get anything back but hurt feelings.
To deal with my "letting go" problem, I have decided that I need a detox---a life detox.
There are some people whose phone numbers I delete and re-add and then delete again that I need to keep deleted. Some Facebook friends I unfriend and re-friend that I need to unfriend and keep it that way.
LET. THEM. GO....Close my eyes and inhale.... and then exhale them all out.
In order to Grow. to Evolve. to Change. to Heal. to be Happy. to be Sane. to be Healthy.
Had to start the new year with some fresh and clean locs. Check out my latest video chronicling my entire wash and retwist routine.
Loreal EverPure Moisture Shampoo and Conditioner: http://amzn.to/2kyOL0k
Joie Naturals MyGel : http://amzn.to/2kyGut3
Laila Ali Iconic Soft Bonnet Dryer: http://amzn.to/2kyFF3F
Jamaican Mango and Lime Original Black Castor Oil : http://amzn.to/2k90I07
Hollywood Beauty Morocco Argan Oil: http://amzn.to/2kyOSJb
Need some motivation to get you through your daily workouts or runs? Pump yourself up with a few of my favorite butt-shaking, head nodding, make you wanna run to the club workout songs. Music can make any workout feel quicker and much more fun.
So, warm up, work out, and cool down to 15 of my favorite workout tunes.
Mama Said Knock You Out by LL Cool J
Work by Ciara featuring Missy Elliot
Where Have You Been by Rihanna
Mc Hammer by Rick Ross featuring Gucci Mane
Breathless by Roy Cape All Stars and Blaxx
Work by Iggy Azalea
Damn Baby by Janet Jackson
Rumble by Skinny Fabulous
Baby Hello by Wande Coal
WTF by Missy Elliot featuring Pharrell Williams
Bundelele by Awilo Longomba
Done D Party by Fay-Ann Lyons
Anaconda by Nicki Minaj
Dancing On My Own by Robyn
When Love Takes Over by David Guetta featuring Kelly Rowland
Today marks two months since I started this 50 lb weight-loss journey on July 25, 2016. I am proud to announce that I am now 17 lbs lighter.
Honestly, it has not been easy. There have been many days that I wanted to run to Shake Shack for a delicious double Smoke Shack cheeseburger, or stay in bed instead of going to the gym (and, there were those moments when I snuck and ate a piece of my brother's wings plate). But, for the most part, I pushed through those feelings and thoughts and made the healthy choices, with the help of the Super Shred Diet by Dr. Ian Smith and the Nike Training Club App, specifically the 6-Week GetLean Fit workouts.
I wanted to share my weight-loss journey with you all to show that it can be done. You don't need to starve yourself or live in the gym to see results. You just have to be ready and willingly to make healthier choices---to walk more, to eat more fruits and vegetables, drink more water, pick up some light weights, and eat smaller portions. If you can gain it, you can lose it.
I am happy to announce that your girl Toya T is still losing weight. I lost 1.6 lbs this week. This is really a huge feat because of the fact that I took off three days from my diet this past Labor Day weekend.
Week 6:
From Saturday to Monday, I was in Philadelphia with two of my friends at the Made in America Festival, which is a 2-day music festival sponsored by Budweiser. At first, I thought that I might be able to follow my diet with a few tweaks while I was at the festival: eat my regular healthy breakfast and lunch, drink a minimum of one beer per day, and eat the least fatty meals for dinner while I was at the festival. I really thought that this was going to work. Or, at least I wanted this plan to work because I did not want to lose my weight-loss momentum from the past 6 weeks. I packed as many healthy snacks as I could carry and brought along a homemade protein shake, since our hotel had a mini fridges in the rooms.
By noon on Saturday, I realized that it was unrealistic for me to follow my diet during my weekend away. This was my last hoorah before heading back into the classroom and plus I was with my friends. Sticking to my diet felt more like work than a normal healthy life choice. So, I decided to allow myself three cheat days, not to overindulge on fatty goodness, but to eat and drink when I felt hungry without counting calories (and feeling guilty). To not fall back into bad eating habits or throw away my weight-loss successes, I also decided to jump back into my Super Shred diet at the point that I stopped on the program's weekly meal plan--in this case, it was Days 5, 6, and 7 of Week 2.
During my three cheat days, I made sure to stay active. Luckily, the festival made this very easy because it involved a lot of walking around and standing. I made over 24,000 steps on Saturday alone and burned over 3000 calories (note: this is more than I burn on a regular day eating healthy and working out).
When I weighed myself on Tuesday, I was surprised to see that I didn't gain any weight. I lost .2 lbs and by Thursday I had lost an additional 1.4 lbs.
This past weekend was very important moment in my 50 lb weight-loss journey. I learned that I can still eat, drink, and be merry without losing control. Cheat days or cheat meals are good in moderation as long as you stay active and focused on your goals. I am now 12.2 lbs down and determined to lose another 8 lbs by the end of the month.
Smiles and Lime-a-ritas at Made in America
In 4 weeks, I have lost 8 lbs with the Super Shred diet and Nike Training Club Lean Fit workout challenge. **pelvic thrusts** Now I have 42 lbs to go...42 LBS TO GO!!!! Ugh.
Losing that much weight is not going to be easy or quick (unless I max out my credit cards and get liposuction). It is going to take months upon months of working out, dieting, and focus.
To help me keep focused during my weight-loss journey, I am doing the following 3 things:
This is very simple. Find a fitness challenge and do it.
It helps you develop a regular fitness schedule that is easy to follow and increases with intensity as it progresses.
It prevents you from feeling overwhelmed by making you focus on a short-term, achievable fitness goal.
If you get your friends or family to join the challenge, it helps you create a fitness support system to keep you motivated to finish.
Plus, when you finish, you are fitter and have the sweet satisfaction of completing a fitness goal.
Here's a challenge for you:
The internet is wonderful place to find tons and tons of healthy recipes (note: Pinterest is the best site ever to find yummy, healthy recipes).
It helps you transition from bad eating habits to good eating habits, by allowing you to eat less calories without feeling deprived.
It helps you discover new foods and dishes that you can share with your family and friends and impress them with your culinary skills.
If you cook your meals ahead of time, preferably at the beginning of the week, it will help you stay on your diet and give you less excuses for grabbing for "fast fatty foods" (the dreaded 3 F's).
Here's a healthy recipe for you:
Just because you are working out and sweating doesn't mean you can't look good while doing it.
Having cute workout clothes takes the UGH out of working out by giving you the same feeling as getting dressed up for a night out.
They tend to be form-fitting, which is a GOOD thing. Wearing oversized and baggy workout clothes make you look frumpy and larger than you really are, skewing your body image. Wearing cute, form-fitting workout clothes provides much-needed support for your jiggly parts and allows you to check your form and make sure you are correctly performing exercises, decreasing injuries and maximizing workout benefits.
Plus, it helps show off your new developing fit body.
Low-end Activewear Brand: Everlast (sold at Sears)
High-end Activewear: Fabletics (sold at Fabletics.com )
(Bad) eating got me into this mess and (good) eating is going to get me out...
The thing that I find the hardest about losing weight is the food, or specifically the type of food, you have to eat to lose the pounds. Am I the only that imagines eating bowls of leaves and twigs when you hear the word "diet"? ***Shudders***
My first week on the Super Shred diet I was craving burgers and fries, which sadly I was eating every week. Driving by my favorite burger spot made me angry, hungry, and sad. Fortunately, the Super Shred diet allows me to eat a bunch of my favorite foods, either in smaller quantities or in lower calorie versions.
Here are three of my favorite healthy recipes (that have kept me from running to Shake Shack):
1 cup fresh or frozen raspberries
4 tablespoons fat-free vanilla yogurt
1/4 cup chocolate chips
1/3 cup fat-free or low-fat milk (highly suggest: light almond milk)
3 ice cubes
Directions:
1. Combine all ingredients in a blender and puree until smooth.
Total Time: 5 minutes
Servings: 1
Under 200 Calories
2 cups Cheerios cereal
1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon baking powder
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup applesauce
1/3 cup fat-free milk (or light almond milk)
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 egg or 1/4 cup fat-free egg product
1/2 cup raisins, if desired
Directions:
Heat oven to 400 degrees F. Spray bottoms only of 12 regular-size muffin cups with cooking spray.
Crush cereal. In large bowl, stir together cereal, flour, brown sugar, cinnamon, baking powder and baking soda. Stir in remaining ingredients just until moistened. Divide batter evenly among muffin cups.
Bake 18 to 22 minutes or until golden brown.
Total Time: 35 minutes
Servings: 12
150 Calories
3 tablespoons honey or agave nectar
1 tablespoon white wine vinegar
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
1 tablespoon minced fresh thyme
2 garlic cloves, minced
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground pepper
1/2 salmon (about 1-1/2 pounds), with or without skin (remove before eating)
Directions:
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.
In a small bowl, whisk together the honey, white wine vinegar, olive oil, thyme, garlic, salt and pepper.
Lay the salmon on a double sheet of foil on top of a baking sheet.
Fold all 4 sides of the foil up and pour the honey mixture evenly over the salmon.
Seal the foil by folding it as though you are wrapping a present. Place the salmon in the oven.
Cook until the salmon is just cooked through, about 15 minutes. Take care not to overcook the salmon.
Unwrap the salmon from the foil, cut into pieces and serve hot or at room temperature.
Total Time: 20 minutes
Servings: 4
154 Calories
Good news, guys and gals!!! I lost another 2 lbs.
I am so proud of myself for decreasing the number on the scale for a second week in a row, especially since the human body tends to fight weight loss after losing a significant amount during your first week of working out and dieting. If you want proof, check out the first two episodes of any season of the tv series
to see the drastic difference in weight loss between week one and week two. Contestants go from losing 15 lbs week one to losing 0 to 2 lbs week two.
But, by successfully completing another week of my Nike Training Club Lean Fit workout plan and following the week two meal plan from the Super Shred diet, which included eating three meals 3 to 4 hours apart and two snacks daily, I was able to push through and get myself closer to my weight-loss goals.
Week 2: Front View Side View
Wish me luck for this upcoming week. My meal plan is going to be drastically different than the previous two weeks. Week 3 of the Super Shred diet focuses on calorie disruption. So, I will only be allowed to eat two meals and four low calorie snacks (less than 150 calories) per day to throw my body off kilter and force it to readjust.
As I mentioned prior, my main problem is my bad eating habits. Eating less food is going to be a BIG challenge for me. But, my desire to fit back into my favorite outfits are greater.
To help me get lean and fit, I am using the Nike Training Club app (available for iPhone and Android). The app is FREE and loaded with 100+ workouts, featuring clear audio and visual guidance throughout each workout and plans that focus on getting either lean, stronger, or toned.
I have been using this app since 2012 and I love it because when I am not indulging in fatty goodness and avoiding the gym, it has helped me get my body toned, lean, and fit. I especially like the 6-week Get Lean Fit workout plan, which include a mixture of running, cardio, light weights, pilates, and yoga. The workout plans adjust daily, increasing and decreasing the intensity of the workouts based on how challenging you found the previous workout.
To get an idea of the type of exercises done in this workout program, I have posted a short clip of me doing the "Go, Rest, Repeat" workout. Please do not laugh at my gym attire or my sweaty body. I workout in the "Women Only" room at my gym, so that I can sweat, curse, and look crazy in relative privacy.
If you have not listened to Jazmine Sullivan's latest album "Reality Show," you need to run to your nearest music store (online or physical) and get it. She has crafted a beautiful album, with ballads, slow jams, uptempo dance joints, and self-love anthems.
Today, I couldn't get her beautifully written and sung record, "Masterpiece." This is one of my favorite songs on the album. A "black girl magic" anthem. Jazmine sings about loving and accepting yourself---flaws and all---for the masterpiece that you are.
Read the song lyrics and then check out a video of Jazmine performing an acoustic version of the song.
Masterpiece by Jazmine Sullivan
My eyes ain't used to these rays
I'm feeling exposed, but I can't hide no more
I can't hide
As the sun shines on all of my glory
My flaws don't look so bad at all
What was I so afraid of?
Every part of me is a vision of a portrait
Of Mona, of Mona Lisa
Every part of me is beautiful
And I finally see I'm a work of art
A masterpiece
Who is this I've tried so long find?
Filling my heads with lies that I'm not good enough
Then I heard something in my ear
Tell me I'm perfect, now that I know the truth
Time to show and prove
Every part of me is a vision of a portrait
Of Mona, of Mona Lisa
Every part of me is beautiful
And I finally see I'm a work of art
A masterpiece
And now I see the pretty colors on my canvas
I'm a work of art, a Mona Lisa
I'll share my picture with the world
Not afraid to let it show anymore
I can light the night, shine so bright
(Let my colors paint the sky)
I can light the night, shine so bright
(There is beauty in my eyes)
I can light the night, shine so bright
(And I can see it now, I believe it now, I can feel it now)
I can light the night, shine so bright
(Want the world to see, I'm a work of art. I'm a masterpiece)
I can light the night, shine so bright
(I am beautiful)
Every part of me is a vision of a portrait
Of Mona, of Mona Lisa
Every part of me is beautiful
And I finally see I'm a work of art
A masterpiece
It's a new new year, time to add a new book to my reading list. New Year. If you have been following my "What I am Reading" series here on Figure Out Your Life blog, then you know that during the fall I began a movie-to-book themed reading series---that is, reading books that were the source material for movies that I have seen. I ended 2015 with the page-turning, and amazingly well adapted-to-a-movie, book "Gone Girl" by Gillian Flynn. Check out my other book reviews
.
In the spirit of starting off the new year right, I have decided to change up things and read an inspirational book. My first book of the year is "Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand in the Sun, and Be Your Own Person" by creator of tv shows "Grey's Anatomy," "Scandal," and "How to Get Away with Murder,"and queen mother of #TGIT (Thank God It's Thursday) on ABC, Shonda Rhimes.
I am at the very end of this book and I love it. It is funny, insightful, and inspiring. Shonda brings us in her world and holds nothing back, as she recounts her one year journey of saying "yes" to everything that made her scared, nervous, and uncomfortable. During that year, she lost 127lbs, made the commencement speech at her alma mater Dartmouth College, got closer to her family and friends, shed some toxic friends, covered magazines, to name a few of the things she did once she stopped saying "no." My favorite chapters are "Say Yes to No" and "Say Yes to Who I Am." I have already bookmarked those chapters and I am sure I will going back to them over the course of this year when I need a boost. Highly recommend this book!!! Get it today---the ebook, paperback, hardcover, or the audiobook.
Book Summary:
In this poignant, hilarious, and deeply intimate call to arms, Hollywood’s most powerful woman, the mega-talented creator of Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal and executive producer of How to Get Away with Murder reveals how saying YES changed her life—and how it can change yours too.
She’s the creator and producer of some of the most groundbreaking and audacious shows on television today:
Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, How to Get Away with Murder
. Her iconic characters—Meredith Grey, Cristina Yang, Olivia Pope, Annalise Keating—live boldly and speak their minds. So who would suspect that Shonda Rhimes, the mega talent who owns Thursday night television (#TGIT), is an introvert? That she hired a publicist so she could
avoid
public appearances? That she hugged walls at splashy parties and suffered panic attacks before media interviews so severe she remembered nothing afterward?
Before her Year of Yes, Shonda Rhimes was an expert at declining invitations others would leap to accept. With three children at home and three hit television shows on TV, it was easy to say that she was simply too busy. But in truth, she was also afraid. Afraid of cocktail party faux pas like chucking a chicken bone across a room; petrified of live television appearances where Shonda Rhimes could trip and fall and bleed out right there in front of a live studio audience; terrified of the difficult conversations that came so easily to her characters on-screen. In the
before
, Shonda’s introvert life revolved around burying herself in work, snuggling her children, and comforting herself with food.
And then, on Thanksgiving 2013, Shonda’s sister muttered something that was both a wake up and a call to arms:
You never say yes to anything.
The comment sat like a grenade, until it detonated. Then Shonda, the youngest of six children from a supremely competitive family, knew she had to embrace the challenge: for one year, she would say YES to everything that scared her.
This poignant, intimate, and hilarious memoir explores Shonda’s life
before
her Year of Yes—from her nerdy, book-loving childhood creating imaginary friends to her devotion to creating television characters who reflected the world she saw around her (like Cristina Yang, whose ultimate goal wasn’t marriage, and Cyrus Beene, who is a Republican
and
gay). And it chronicles her life
after
her Year of Yes had begun—when Shonda forced herself out of the house and onto the stage, appearing on
Jimmy Kimmel Live
, and giving the Dartmouth Commencement speech; when she learned to say yes to her health, yes to play and she stepped out of the shadows and into the sun; when she learned to explore, empower, applaud, and love her truest self. Yes.
This wildly candid and compulsively readable book reveals how the mega talented Shonda Rhimes, an unexpected introvert, achieved badassery worthy of a Shondaland character. And how you can, too.
**book summary taken from: http://books.simonandschuster.com/Year-of-Yes/Shonda-Rhimes/9781476777092
It is 2016. A brand new year, a chance for a brand new start... (pause)
Reflecting on 2015, it was actually a pretty great year for me. Although I did not accomplish all of my five new year's resolutions for 2015, I can't say that I want to change much for 2016. I think revising or tweaking some things in my life may be the better choice than changing them.
So, let's review my five new year's resolutions from the previous year:
1. Get a jobB (i.e., job with benefits)
I really tried on this one. Sent out tons and tons of resumes. Got all the way to final round but no dice. I guess it was not my year for a job with benefits. But, I did get a lead on a few good ones for the next year so....I will say this goal is in a work in progress.
2. Be in a long, healthy, happy relationship
Yes. I am still single (sorry mummy and daddy). But, the men I dated were not right for me. One guy was very nice but not interested in anything I liked to do. Another was celibate indefinitely but wanted to spank me (WTF, bro?). Another was a
unreliable, inconsiderate, self-centered man
Fuck Boy. I am not interested in sacrificing my happiness and self-worth to "have a man."
However, if you want to get technical, I did kinda accomplish this goal. This past year I was in a very long, loving, and healthy relationship with myself. Toya T and I went on many amazing adventures together. We laughed, we cried, we watched Netflix and chilled, and we ate some yummy food. So, I am going to reward myself for this one. Yay to me!!! This year I am going to add "with a man" to end of the resolution and hope for an equally successful outcome.
3. Move into my own place
Fail! I still live at home with my mummy. But, I don't pay rent...so Yay!! Adding this one onto the 2016 list (without revisions).
4. Travel some place new internationally and domestically
Success! Goal! Touchdown! I traveled to 2 continents and 8 countries in 2015, including my first trip to Asia. It was definitely a year of travel. I saw some amazing things, ate some yummy foods, and made some great memories. This goal is getting added to the 2016 (without revisions).
5. Tone up and get back into a size 8
This one did not happen. I started and stopped several times but just couldn't keep a momentum. Though I am the biggest I have ever been, I have learned to not beat myself up about it. I am still fly, even as Juicy T. And, this is just a challenge that I have to spend a little extra effort and time on in 2016.
Overall, I may not have accomplished all of my resolutions, but I have definitely laid the groundwork to achieve them in the future; hopefully 2016 will be that year.
Hello There!
I’m Toya T—a Black Woman PhD, podcast host, and traveler. I love sharing pieces of my life and all of the tips, tricks, and lessons I have learned from my experiences. Hopefully my blog will help you on your journey to figuring out how to live your best life.
@LATOYAT on Instagram
Welcome to Figure Out Your Life Blog where I share everything what I have learned thus far about life. Hope you’ll come back again. Enjoy!
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